Can two narcissists become a couple? When you think about this question, the first thing that comes to your mind is a big fat NO! Yet, if you think about it, you might have met a couple of narcissist couples already. Or you might have even seen them in TV, among so-called power couples.
The narcissistic/borderline couple: a psychoanalytic perspective on marital treatment (book review)
Narcissism is a personality disorder. Narcissists are extremely self-absorbed individuals who have grandiose beliefs about their worth.
They lack empathy, and will always put their own needs first. Everything in their lives needs to support their grandiose self-image, including relationships.
Narcissist couples – what happens when a narcissist meets a narcissist
As parents, they require their children to serve as a representation of their own talent and superiority. Nonetheless, in the roots of this extreme self-confidence and love for oneself is the opposite feeling.
Narcissists are, although very deeply hidden, in fact, extremely insecure. They absolutely need to have control over everything surrounding them, or else they would crumble.
They need everything to build into their fantasy of grandiosity. Narcissists do get into romantic relationships. They get married and have children.
You would expect a narcissist to stay single or in casual relationshipsto be able to pursue their career or talents. But, they do enjoy having someone near too. They usually shape often through abuse their partner into what they need to get that constant admiration and care.
Basically, spouses of narcissists end up sacrificing everything to be able to be there and please their ever-hungry-for-praise partners. They might seem to be doing so in the beginning, but soon everyone is clear on what their roles are. The narcissist demands, and their partner provides. They do have interest in their own wants and requirements.
They will talk and never listen.
They will ask and never give back. One might wonder how come two such people would get together.
It sounds counterintuitive to expect two selfish individuals form a couple. Who does the pleasing then? Who is there to serve as a personal assistant in that relationship?
And this does happen most of the time. We could assume a several reasons for this. The first is that similarities attract. Non-narcissists will probably end up finding someone who can reciprocate their love and care.
What happens when two narcissists get together in a relationship
Finally, what might also be true is that they are attracted to the perfect image a narcissist puts forth. They might like how they appear as a couple, thus, how their narcissistic partner makes them look good in public eye. A recent study revealed that a narcissist is likely to have a narcissistic partner in long-term relationships. The same goes for Machiavellianism and psychopathy. This is a valuable finding, as it supports the thesis that like attracts like, even among people who normally might be better complemented by less self-absorbed individuals.
Yet, they seem to have enough in common to overcome this and end up married.
Two narcissists will be attracted to each other in the first place. When you think of how dissatisfying a life of a spouse of a narcissist is, one might be happy that narcissists find happiness in sharing their selfishness. Take Course.
Marriage Advice. Marriage Quizzes Marriage Quotes Videos. Find a Therapist. Search for therapist. All Rights Reserved.
By Sylvia SmithExpert Blogger. Share on Facebook. Share on Twitter. Share on Pintrest. Share on Whatsapp.
In This Article. Share this article on Share on Facebook. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? Sylvia Smith Expert Blogger.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Mental Health Can a Narcissist Love? By Rachael Pace.